Memories from the past

Forums-InsiderIn 395 München M, 22

tja, in der mischung aus melancholie und depri-phase heute habe ich mal teile meiner vergangenheit im netz ausgegraben und dabei ein gedicht gefunden, von mir vor 2 jahren geschrieben, ellenlang, auf englisch, voller wirrer, unreifer gedankengänge....und klingt eher nach kinderreim *fg*

...und dennoch trifft es mich mitten ins herz, diese alten gefühle mit ungebrochener brisanz......bis zur gestrichelten linie ist es mehr wie ein tatsachenbericht ^^

Yesterday evening,
sadly perceiving,
what happened to me

It´s superfluos, don´t try to imagine my mental state
staying captured in solitude, that´s part of my fate.

My thoughts are spinning round and round,
distressing my soul, it´s a huge, deep wound.

My life seems to be comfortable and easy,
I never had to struggle for success.
However, I was never content and happy
due to the dark shadow of lonelyness.

Vast emptiness has settled down in me,
I feel paralyzed and urgeless, but never free.

A part of me wants to cross the line immediately
desires to make the final step.
Demands to round off the development of my personality,
but there´s missing the decisive gap.

I´m stuck here on the edge,
not a boy anymore but still not mature.
Hunting for dreams I´m unable to catch,
trying to find myself, I´m lost in my own nature.

Arrogance and humility,
never succeeded in doing the splits.
My life is determined by this ambivalency,
sounds strange but somehow to me it fits

Lonelyness of heart is the direct path to insanity,
it´s getting worse and worse, why can´t you see
that I´m unable to stand this anymore.

I just can´t admit my feelings,
can´t express them, as you see.
Am I a loser if I cry bitterly?

Breaking down, towards the sand.
Why is there nobody who accepts me?
No one to like me??
No one to be a real friend???
No one to understand me????
No one to love me?????
No one to give me a helping hand?

----------------------------------------------------------------

Shout, shout it out loud!,
like a fireworks, into the night,
I smash away my tears, into the night
I chase away my fears, into the night
I bury my despair and finally feel allright.

I was standing next to an abyss
that was dark and neverending
It was a prophecy, made to me long time ago,
it was my salvation that I remembered it after all.

I will go on with my path of solitude,
accompanied by the only one, for me he is a hit,
the only one I can really count on,
the only one I really need to live,
accompanied by my own and lonesome fellowship.

Yesterday evening,
hopefully receiving,
a new power from deep inside.

Psychotherapie-Forum (Archiv 2002-2007)

Forum:

Mehr über PT:

Memories from the past